Pete Patriarch’s Musings

September 5, 2007

Poems

Filed under: Uncategorized — Pete @ 8:21 pm

If I Only Had a V – by Angry Harry

If I only had a V
I could be accusatory
And hide in anonymity
Despite my obvious perjury.
If I only had a V
I could live so happily
Causing untold agony
To the man who married me.

If I only had a V
I would be officially
protected by immunity
With no responsibility.

If I only had a V
I would dress most prettily
And all of the judiciary
Would judge my claims most favorably.

If I only had a V
I would use it expertly
To generate equality
That somehow always favors me.

If I only had a V
I could act appallingly
And cause my partner misery
No matter how atrociously.

If I only had a V
I would stroke it tenderly
Because quite unbelievably
It is my gold-filled treasury.

 

And one by Dr. Evil from SYG:

When do you get full reproductive choice?
When you have a vagina.

When is cold blooded murder “voluntary manslaughter”?
When you have a vagina.

When is it cruel and illegal to circumcise?
When you have a vagina.

When do you get safety from DV?
When you have a vagina.

When is it easy to get a restraining order?
When you have a vagina.

When can we get full custody of our kids?
When you have a vagina.

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