Pete Patriarch’s Musings

December 12, 2007

What happened to all the nice men?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Pete @ 3:00 pm

This is yet another post in the theme of man-woman relationships. I seem to be on a roll here.

Anyone reading this blog should know that being a “nice guy” today is the death knell for pretty much any man. Its as if a switch is flipped inside the modern woman who hears “nice” and thinks “loser”. In fact, it is one of the tactics you can use as a Pickup Artist – If a woman seems too interested in a guy and you want her to focus her attention on you, subtly put him down on something, it can be anything, and say “but yeah he’s a really nice guy and all.” Instant lowering of his value. I used it the other day, to great effect, against this guy I know who doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up and let a man talk to a woman and who always wants to show himself superior to me.

What Happened to All the Nice Guys?
Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST
I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven’t figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you’ve fucked yourself over. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t fucking want you, now.

A Recovering Nice Guy



  1. Being a nice guy, or non-savage, is not predicated on physical appearance. The assumption that one only acts this way because of height, hair density, etc. is erroneous. Are all tall, rich, and fit men a-holes. No, and there really is no correlation that can be observed based upon this either. However, since women are such fools , as you correctly point out, they (most AW it seems) seem to value these superficial qualities and will take much more abuse from these types than others. Does human biology force women to go for and take this abuse? Which type of male offers the woman a higher success rate for survival and children? Is the abuser necessarily an alpha male or an omega or another type? If it is not biological, then are women such fools that only a little propaganda and social engineering can cause them to go completely mad?

    I do not think there is any societal pressure bearing on women of any kind at the moment? This is what has lead to the mess we face and for men to blog. If anything they either finally move beyond a 10 year old state of mind or are looking for a sucker to settle down with. It really is a shame that those would totally go against the grain of civil behavior just for a piece of ass. What sort of place are we living in. Complete madness.

    Comment by anon — December 12, 2007 @ 7:04 pm

  2. Women screw themselves by fucking bad boys for years to the point where they get older, less attractive and in financial debt. The bad boys dump them time and time again and then they look for some schmuck you will take care of her. More and more men are becoming absolutely sick and tired of women and their bullshit ways. Period. Most women are immature, infantile, sick, disgusting, whores that have a maturity level of a 12 year old girl. They create virtually all relationship problems in society and are not responsible and suffer no consequence for anything that they do or say. They can kill, mame, abuse, destroy, ruin careers, put men into financial ruin, abort innocent babies, throw away babies in dumpsters, drown them in bathtubs, punch, hit, kick and stab men, divorce, cheat, lie, deceive, play several guys at once until they get a ring, stop having sex with their husbands, become a fat whale, etc. etc. etc. The destruction never ends and it won’t end until men stop marrying women, getting them pregnant, living with them, and financing their lives. That’s the only way to kill over these virus infected human beings.

    Comment by anonymous — December 13, 2007 @ 7:03 am

  3. “The destruction never ends and it won’t end until men stop marrying women, getting them pregnant, living with them, and financing their lives.”

    I agree with you completely except for the “…getting them pregnant” part. Unless all men become completely gay or take a vow of celibacy we can’t avoid getting women pregnant. All it takes is for her to ‘accidentally’ get pregnant. She can do this by lying about the status of her fertility, ‘forgetting’ to take a birth control pill, or poking holes in your condom, or getting knocked up by another man and claiming the child is yours (assuming you sign the birth certificate).
    A much more workable approach is to change the law. If the law didn’t allow women to have free government assistance in extorting men then we wouldn’t have these problems. A good place to start would be child support and paternity/maternity fraud. Men should have the right to voluntarily discharge their parental rights and responsibilities after a pregnancy has already occurred just as women are currently able to do.

    If a man does decide to have children then child support payments should be directly linked to his amount of visitation. Also ‘child support’ should not be ‘mommy support’ the amount should be reasonable and take into consideration: the amount of money both parents make, his ability to pay, and he should be able to seek debt forgiveness if it’s warranted. Also charging interest on unpaid child support is bullshit.

    Finally paternity or maternity fraud is no different than credit card fraud or any other type of fraud. It should be a criminal offence and carry jail time. Also the offender should have to repay the victim.
    So don’t just bitch, right your senators and governor. I do.

    Comment by The Voice of Experience — December 13, 2007 @ 12:35 pm

  4. Pete’s trying to cock block?! Ha!
    There’s plenty of hard-ons, nice guys, and douche bags out there.
    Women might whine they can’t find em, but thats just a matter of time.
    If there weren’t so many mangina’s not standing up for themselves, I doubt the misandric attitudes of women would last. As there is so much misandry, its obvious ‘nice’ guys are everywhere.

    Women claim to want a nice guy, but we all know thats a load of shit.

    Because once they find a ‘nice’ guy, they’ll want a ‘nice’ guy with money, then a ‘nice’ guy with money and looks and a 10″ cack, and so on. Bah!

    Comment by Exploited — December 13, 2007 @ 2:31 pm

  5. Did you ever hear of rubbers. It a new concept.

    Comment by anonymous — December 16, 2007 @ 8:05 am

  6. December 13, 2007 @ 7:03 am

    12 years old? I’m thinking more like 8 or 10 year old behavior. These women suck beyond belief. I had to endure years worth of horseshit from the same cunts when I grew up. What was even more gauling to me was the fact that one of the cunts mothers was the source of her loathing and hatred of me. It would seem this worthless cunts mother went around against the runt of the neighborhood (which was me) to rally the troops to make their children not associate with me. That was fine, what I found out later was this was done soley because my brother had at one time dated the neighborhood’s white trash slut, same family that ended up breaking into our house one night and stealing over 3,000$ worth of motorcycle parts (note this was done in the early 80s.) I had to deal with this cunts daughter in school, on the streets with her neurotic threats of violence getting her idiot boyfriend to beat me up, etc. Never was assaulted beyond verbally, nice touch was the juvinile act she did when she was 21 years old in her car. Honking the horn cursing and flicking someone off. Geee, someone has grown up to be just like the cunt mother, hasn’t she. Of course, this was over 13 years ago so i’m pretty sure she’s just another spermed douched spinster now. Would like to be the fly on the wall to see this.

    Comment by sneak — February 25, 2008 @ 2:23 pm

  7. I first saw that article when a female friend linked it. I sympathized with the guy completely, but all the women who linked the article on their LJs indulged in comment frenzies about “How dare he suggest that women owe men sex in return for niceness!” and some similarly lame and inaccurate attacks.

    Sometimes I’ll read an especially well thought out criticism of modern female behavior or of feminist excesses, one that doesn’t seem very inflammatory – like this one – and I actually think, “Thank heavens. Surely some women will read this and get a clue and behave better.” And then I see their hysterical attacks on it, and am reminded once again why I am a misogynist.

    Comment by Female Misogynist — March 4, 2008 @ 8:09 pm

  8. FM, the behavior displayed by those women is typical of feminist “debate” – they tend to take one word, phrase or sentence out of context, make it a soundbite and blow it up out of proportion, then attempt to bludgeon the other side with morality arguments and ad hominems.

    This is why a lot of MRA’s have simply given up trying to debate with feminists on their own turf, where they have no incentive to give an inch or listen to reason at all. It is just not possible.

    Comment by Pete — March 6, 2008 @ 1:18 pm

  9. i am a 42 old woman i have too grown boys and a grandbaby i am in college i am looking for a nice man are u out there

    Comment by cindy saliem — March 19, 2008 @ 12:07 pm

  10. I cannot believe how well this was thought out and written. I have been involved in it. I have seen it. It is all true. The funny thing is this. The once attractive, only slightly tainted fantasy is now at best on this side of a pig with a wreck of a mind.(lol) And now we think women are something to have sex with. J.L.

    Comment by former nice guy — March 27, 2008 @ 12:39 pm

  11. Hi. I hear this from a lot of “nice guys” such as my previous boyfriend, who did a lot of great, nice guy things for me that I would have appreciated – had he actually been a nice guy. The fact that “nice guys” have to devote their time to bitching about “why girls don’t like them – I’m better than that snooty righ/handsome/etc guy” shows IN ITSELF that you’re not really as “good” as you think you are, doesn’t it? What “nice guy” needs to parade around that he’s better than someone else? Of course any guy who wants a girl is going to think to himself that he’s better than the guy she’s going out with – hell, I’m a girl and I’ve thought that about loads of guys I’m interested in.

    This article greatly offends me. I realise that, sure, there ARE a lot of women who do this, but I could write an equally slanderous article about men. Get YOUR heads out of your asses, stop making generalizations and stop being so bitter about girls you “should” have had – girls you were “better enough” to deserve. There are a lot of fish in the sea – look for one who appreciates you, let the rest move on as they will. There are a lot of women who hear this shit all the time, who don’t through away good guys when they have them, and whose relationships are totally normal. So one bitch hurt you. Be the “bigger person” that you claim you are and move the fuck on.

    Comment by jannin — April 6, 2009 @ 6:42 pm

  12. Jannin, how this article “greatly offends” you is not a rebuttal. It’s not even the slightest bit important to anyone here besides you.
    What IS important is how true (and useful) is its content. Multiple men here have vouched for both of those. My life experience leads me to vouch for the article as well.

    The essential points in the article hold true and are useful guides to action for men, no matter how many times you and other Ameriskanks throw tantrums, threaten to hold your breath until you turn blue, screech “I’M! OFFENDED! (So, whatever crimethink you men thought is now wrong and not allowed)”.

    Wholeheartedly give a good man at least 15 (preferably all 20) of your best 20 years, or don’t expect him to give you much if any of his best 40 years (that mostly comes later).
    By your late twenties, a woman’s made her choice.

    Comment by Luke — June 27, 2013 @ 11:33 am

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