Pete Patriarch’s Musings

July 15, 2008

Women can’t stop wanting privileges

Filed under: Uncategorized — Pete @ 5:55 am

Just saw this on Russian Women’s blog: Russia’s Women are still reluctant to go dutch.

Billboards across Moscow advertising a women’s magazine are raising female consciousness by asking Russia’s fairer sex: “Are you ready to pay half to be independent?”

It’s a question with increasing relevance because growing numbers of young Russian women are moving into management positions, earning good salaries and boosting their spending power. But for most, the answer to the question for now is still a resounding “no”.

“When you go out with a guy, even if you’re just friends and there’s no romantic subtext, you would always expect him to pay,” says Svetlana Kolchik, deputy editor of Russia’s Marie Claire, which paid for the adverts. “When I discuss dates with my girlfriends, one of the first questions is ‘Did he pay for you?’ If he did, it’s always a good sign.”

He predictably makes excuses for women. Russian in this case, but he could just as easily be a mangina at work telling you how you need to wine and dine the whores so they will sleep with you, and this is what we pathetic worm-men need to do. Any bets on whether he was that annoying mangina before he left for the russkies?

Olga, a 24-year-old journalist, explains that many of her friends keep their wallets in their handbags not out of stinginess but for the sake of their boyfriends’ pride. “With all the provincial beauties in town, there are 20 women for each decent man. If you get a decent man, you better keep him. So they don’t reach for their wallets so the man doesn’t feel uncomfortable when other people look at him like he can’t pay for dinner.”

This is rich. Let’s look at the thought process… there’s a lot of women, and you when I get a decent man, I want to keep him. And I will do this by … expecting gifts and free meals. Hahah. Who is this girl trying to fool?

Anyway, while reading this I was totally thinking about how I would never even consider a woman who wanted dinners and expensive gifts as a pre-condition to date me. My girlfriend made a point of (genuinely) wanting to pay at our first date, and we’re still together after five years, sticking together through thick and thin and being more intimate than many married couples. I have never gotten the feeling that she’s a gold-digger any more than all women are in general, its in their nature to want stuff from their man but some just go overboard, drunk with their sexual power.

This is why I got so annoyed at RW’s view…

First off when it comes to dating Russian or FSU Women the KEY THING that any Man needs to realize is that you are being offered a UNIQUE opportunity to show your leadership in a budding relationship by TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for the date.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY in any dating situation at the very MINIMUM means PAYING FOR THE BILL.

If you neglect to do this then you have FAILED a major test in the eyes of a Russian Lady.. And honestly you will probably not get another opportunity to correct yourself.

A Russian Woman will think of it in these terms..

“If he can’t TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for a simple cafe bill how can he possibly TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for me or our future children?”

Yes, your entire character and upbringing is laid out along with your personality with a simple action – paying for the woman! The woman, who is too fucking stingy to take out her own pocketbook and would rather spend the money on vacuous fucking bags, shoes and make-up. Oooh, but that doesn’t say anything about her character. Oh, and don’t worry. Once she has her hooks in you right and proper, it’ll be your privilege to pay for those matching Blahniks and LV’s too! And RW has the shaming language to make sure you don’t complain one bit.

All of that raises the question of what exactly it is that wealthy Russian women do spend their money on.

“We have a very consumerist attitude so will still spend money on a Max Mara coat or Armani suit,” says Ms Kolchik. “Women spend most of their money on looking beautiful for their man; and in fact, for all men. Even if we’re happily married, it’s in our genes to compete for men and male attention.”

Sorry, but I do not want to subsidize your wanting to compete for other men’s attention even when you’re married. Maybe someone a bit more cuckolded than me would disagree, but this is my view.
Oh, but the best is yet to come!

Keep this in mind even if you are out socializing with a lady friend with whom you don’t intend to have a romantic relationship with.

It’s still important to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY in this situation because all Women Talk..

And having a Russian Lady who is a good friend is the greatest way to gain a future endorsement from one Russian “sister” to another.

Think of it in these terms..

When a Russian Lady “allows” you to pay the bill..

She’s opening the door for you to take the next step and to come in on a deeper level.

Yes! You also have to pay if its just a friend you’re going with to lunch or dinner or presumably drinks! How fucking awesome!

Is RW actually a woman? Because I haven’t seen many men who can contradict themselves so well. So is she “just a friend” or is she a cocktease who “could be opening the door to her pussy” if he pays all the time?

Of course, it may just be the type of women RW hangs around that only hang around if they’re paid to do so.

And guess what the chicks will be talking about in their potty break. “Oh my god, those expensive drinks get me blitzed so fast! Did you check out that hottie near the flowerpot? He was totally checking me out! I think I’m going to go home with him, let’s ditch our patsy.”

Fundamental human nature is the same, and I don’t think there’s a code of honor anywhere on this green-and-blue earth that says men have to pay for women in a platonic situation. Nope, not even in the US. Nobody will try to shame a man into paying for woman friend, even though the guy just might be stupid enough to want to pay.

Here’s a post by a Russian woman living in Austria who enjoys when other people pay for her with no obligation on her part…

And the bills should be paid by men ) I earn more that an average man in Austria, for example. But men pay when we go out with me(friends or colleagues – because I am happily married). And you know what? – I can see it on their faces that they are proud to pay my restaurant bill. really. Guess why?

I don’t know what that smiley at the end is supposed to mean. Why are they proud to pay her restaurant bill? Does she slob their knob at the end or something?



  1. Hello Pete,

    I’ve been called lots of things in my life but to accuse me of being a “Mangina” is hilarious especially given the pro-men advocacy that both you and I take so seriously..

    No worries.. call me what you will.. doesn’t bother me a bit.. My readers might enjoy your little slant on me as well.

    In anycase Pete I’d like to say that I believe you are making a very significant mistake by applying your western norms of “equality” to every girl in the world. Especially to the Traditional Girls in Russia or the FSU.

    You took pains to take some quotes from some of the more materialistic women that exist in Moscow which is where my source article came from.

    Your first mistake is a very common one in thinking that Moscow represents Russia culturally..

    Most Russian folks will tell you that “Moscow is not real Russia”. They say this because it’s a huge cosmopolitan city with the largest cost of living in the world.

    So any quote taken from some well off “wealthy” Russian Woman there is going to distort the truth behind what I feel the majority of TRADITIONAL Russian and FSU Girls are like..

    I’ve been living in Siberia for over the last 4 years Pete so I know what I’m talking about… So I kindly suggest that you listen..

    Pete here’s the deal.

    And again I’ve seen lots of American and Western Men make this same extremely common error just like you have.

    You are probably taking every experience and information that you have about Feminized WESTERN Women and are trying to apply the same “defensive standards” to Traditional Russian or FSU Women..

    This is no different from playing with square blocks all of your life and then trying to fit it into a small round hole that you’ve never seen before.

    The TRADITIONAL Women that I’m inspired to blog about absolutely DESERVE traditional respect and chivalry from all Men.. ESPECIALLY Men who desire to date them..

    You are dealing with a completely different world here that you can’t possibly fathom until you spend some significant time dealing with these wonderful ladies.

    Far from these women being greedy or wealthy as you try to elude too with the Moscow article..

    The average salary in Russia is still only between $150 to $300 PER MONTH… That means that there are a whole lot of very sweet, kind and economically poor ladies out there who would project huge amounts of appreciation for a decent date at even the simplest of cafe’s.

    (And BTW I take offense and so would many real ladies at how you suggest, even in pun, that sexual favors might be return for this basic act of kindness during a date. Unfortunately it shows me and your readers that you have a long ways to go before you grow up and are able to act like a Gentleman.)

    As far as typical first dates with Russian Ladies are concerned.. we are certainly not talking Lobster Thermidore here Pete..

    We are usually only talking about a cup of tea, a tiny salad and maybe a single scoop of ice cream for an initial get to know you meeting..

    If you try to suggest or push any more food on to her because you are surprised at how little she eats.. then she will most likely politely turn down your offer due to her basic sense of modesty that is deeply in-grained into her traditional Russian culture.

    Let’s see.. that bill came out to a whopping total of less then 10 bucks..

    So you want to show off your cheapness and go “Equal” with that?

    Well Pete go right ahead and show the world what you are made of.. or not..

    Pete it’s pretty sad that you have no comprehension of these most basic basic basic basic of courtesies which are designed to serve as the building blocks of traditional male to female trust, conversation and relationships.

    So before you embarrass yourself any further and call guys like me a “Mangina” again..

    Let me suggest one very important thing that you have not seen in yourself.

    Pete.. somewhere right now there are Radical Feminists who absolutely LOVE guys like you..

    They love it when you attack Women and even Men like me in the way you do..

    The love it because it tells the Feminist that THEY’VE WON..

    THEY’VE WON because they have succeeded in starting a WAR between Men and Women that they have wanted to ignite for the last 30 years.

    They LOVE the fact that your hatred for them is there and that it quickly spreads like a virus to other men and women too no matter what their background may be.

    They LOVE the fact that you seem to look at all women with suspicion.. or that you can’t even trust your own natural tendancies as a Man to show kindness in this form.

    They LOVE the fact that you can’t tell the difference between a Traditional Lady who deserves your respect and kindness and the less deserving ones that seem to be permanently etched into your psyche..

    (Aren’t your actions kind of like using a nuke on a city to take out a few bad guys? Well whose the bad guy now Pete??)

    Your comments only go to show the Feminists that their scortched earth policy towards destroying trust and relationships between Men and Women really works..

    Pete maybe your hearts in the right place in wanting to help other Men but you my friend are unfortunately foolish to the n’th degree for so easily falling for the Feminist agenda and becoming their very willing slave in the process..

    And in so doing..

    You have become a mere defensive reactionary to a group of shrill and bitter Feminist Western Women..

    ..And certainly not a Leader of Men..

    I’m curious as to how you will take this feedback even as harsh and necessary as it may be.

    I’m actually hoping that a guy with such an influential blog like yourself is capable of some small doses of humility and reason..

    Until then..

    Good Luck to you..

    GL – Russian Women the Real Truth

    Comment by rw_man — July 15, 2008 @ 2:30 pm

  2. The average salary in Russia is still only between $150 to $300 PER MONTH… That means that there are a whole lot of very sweet, kind and economically poor ladies out there who would project huge amounts of appreciation for a decent date at even the simplest of cafe’s.

    (And BTW I take offense and so would many real ladies at how you suggest, even in pun, that sexual favors might be return for this basic act of kindness during a date. Unfortunately it shows me and your readers that you have a long ways to go before you grow up and are able to act like a Gentleman.)

    So, in other words, they want to be paid for being a whore, but they don’t want to follow through with their side of the bargain.

    Apparently, being a “gentleman” is synonymous with being a chump… or at least with someone who hates his own masculinity so much that he feels he should pay a woman to compensate her for having to put up with him.

    Either way, I prefer being a man.

    Comment by Demonspawn — July 16, 2008 @ 10:01 am

  3. “I don’t know what that smiley at the end is supposed to mean. Why are they proud to pay her restaurant bill? Does she slob their knob at the end or something?”

    LOL nice!

    “The TRADITIONAL Women that I’m inspired to blog about absolutely DESERVE traditional respect and chivalry from all Men.”

    Nope. Women don’t deserve shit just because they’re “traditional”. Also if you believe that being “chivarious” a codeword for deciding to be a pussy, is an admirable trait then you are a dumbass and you deserve everything that’s going to come your way. That includes a lifetime of hard work; which tends to put men into an early grave; to support some ungrateful bitches early retirement. Thats if things work out, in which case you should consider yourself lucky.

    It’s pretty sad that the only way you can get a shot at getting some poon is to pay for it. You should just get a hooker, at least their upfront and honest about what you’re going to get and how much you have to pay for it.

    Comment by Mike Hunter — July 16, 2008 @ 6:59 pm

  4. Dear Pete:

    Is your comment space disconnected? I love your blog. Please email me at… I’d like to know if this reaches you. I am confused about WHO this might be going to or not. Pls confirm that it is PETE’S PATRIARCH that this reaches. I HAVE MUCH TO SAY.


    Comment by DH — July 17, 2008 @ 11:32 am

  5. OK RW, maybe I was out of line in calling you a mangina outright. As a member (however much you support women) of the MRM, there’s no reason for personal attacks.

    However, I won’t change my views of the situation. The fundamental disconnect between your line of thinking and mine is that you say Russian women are somehow purer in their motives and more innocent than other women, and that paying for them is a privilege because of that.

    I disagree because any woman who would expect a friend to pay for her simply on the basis that he is a man and she is a woman is not worth my time. Russia is not Afghanistan, where women are kept in burqas and not allowed out of the home. These women are (according to the article and according to your commenters) earning big money and buy furs and diamonds and expect their male friends and boyfriends to buy them more things. Maybe there’s a difference in the villages and the city.

    As somebody who has “unplugged” and now see female privilege for what it is, maybe I seem bitter by not tolerating even a hint of inequality, but I would still rather know the truth than live in a web of lies and deceit. Ask any of these women whether women are equal to men during the aperitifs and listen. How traditional are they, really?

    Also, I understand that the really dangerous gold-diggers are the ones who insist on paying their own way during the beginning, and when they have slipped under the radar, take you for all you’ve got. Am I also bitter for acknowledging this?

    Comment by Pete — July 18, 2008 @ 7:59 am

  6. rw_man raises some interesting points, and let us not forget that it is the feminist Marie Claire magazine that is encouraging a policy of “equal pay” for dating. Worthwhile women probably do exist outside of the consumer-feminist dystopia of the West.

    The fact remains though: ALL Western women are write-offs. They are utterly unredeemable in the current legal/cultural environment. One could read the original Independent article and think that all women – whether they be Western or Worthwhile – “deserve” to be financially catered for at dates. Wrong. Western women deserve nothing because they are nothing.

    Comment by MRN — July 18, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

  7. Mangina journo Shaun Walker makes no such distinction and I think this is where the problem lies.

    Comment by MRN — July 18, 2008 @ 5:29 pm

  8. Pete I appreciate the “Mangina” clarification,

    However you seem to be ignoring what I’m saying about income levels that these women earn on average.

    You seem to want to focus in on some rich Materialistic Moscow lady who yes is more apt to be on your deserved hit list of women to scorn.

    However it seems like you are choosing to see bad women only..

    I live in this part of the world and I can certainly tell you that there are large numbers of women here who in my book are true princesses in the most honest and endearing ways possible.

    Do we have our bad women here? Absolutely.. Just like anywhere else in the world. But we certainly have women here who are truly inspiring in the greatest way possible.

    I unfortunately feel like my words are going to fall on indifference here.

    If you can’t take my word for it then fine. But you really won’t know the truth until you are able to spend some time here (not in moscow) and see what I’m talking about for yourself.

    Not all women in the world are evil. All of you Gentlemen and I have certainly dealt with our share I’m sure.

    But the world is a big place and there are many other women of cultures and values that if you allow yourself to experience would most likely transform any man.

    This won’t happen of course if for example that man has so much invested in what I consider to be a 100% defensive identity towards all women. Then this man will never change because he has put so much energy and time into proving to the world otherwise.

    And when this happens he can never change or even grow for that matter because he’s embarrassed to show the world that he’s a fundamentally different person now.

    Never say never guys..

    You only put yourself in a bad corner if you do.

    Just my 2-cents..

    Take care,


    Comment by rw_man — July 21, 2008 @ 11:49 am

  9. I agree with Pete. My thoughts are that American and western women are not going to argue with you if you want to pay their way. What is the difference? Interestingly, if an American/western woman lets you pay her way then she is called a whore, taker or spoiled brat. So what is the difference if a Russian woman takes your money? Not much. GL’s logic…well, is illogical. It does not make any sense. When I scanned through GL’s site on russian women etc. I get summise that there is more anger going on, more emotion tied to his actions. It’s as if GL has left one group/culture of women in USA to find a false sense of hope in russia, simply because they are non-american. What will happen and I predict this through his apparent pattern is that he will run into a similar if not identical reality in which the consequences will be painful. His delusional perspective feels good right now because in his mind he thinks he has found all of the answers to what women should be. The problem is that in reality these Russian women are only human beings, nothing more. They are just like any other female in the world however they are living in a PATRIARCHAL society in which they want out. The backfire will occur when GL realizes that these women are searching for a more liberal way of life outside of their male dominant culture. He may appear to be a free ticket to freedom in their eyes until they realize that GL’s intentions are to dominate and control these women in the same way that their Russian husbands, fathers and lovers have been doing for centuries. Everyone knows the backbone of the Russian family has been the patriarchal stance. What GL is doing is offering a let-me-save-you mentality, codependency which is a form of control, while he lives in his delusional world of being the only savior male in Russia. Again it is delusional and the catastrophe will occur when reality corners GL and exposes its ugly face. I’d suggest that GL be more concerned for his mental health than pretending to be someone he is not.

    Comment by Donald Rosenberg — July 24, 2008 @ 10:31 am

  10. What a joke! Paying for these women simply because they are non-westerners? So, you pay because they are Russians? Hmm. I could use someone to pay for me. How about it.

    P.S. I’m a gay man and definitely for MEN’S RIGHTS.

    Comment by Lennyloveslife from Texas — July 24, 2008 @ 12:18 pm

  11. MRN: was your mother a “westerner?”

    Comment by Lennyloveslife from Texas — July 24, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

  12. I’m not taking anybody’s side here, and certainly don’t want to perpetuate in-fighting among MRAs/MGTOWs. I believe that in-fighting among MRAs/MGTOWs had been a major reason for past failures.

    For me personally, the question is not one of paying, but rather one of OVERPAYING as it relates to “entitlements gone wild”. Personally, I believe that all relationships, business or personal are built on expectations. Each person in the relationship has certain expectations which should be clearly communicated. Over simplified, if each person in the relationship is willing to reciprocate the other’s expectations, the relationship will be successful.

    Of course, the problem with most American Women is that they have a sense of entitlement (are unappreciative for expensive gifts, meals, vacations, etcetera), have unrealistic expectations (the world is never enough), are narcissistic (think much more highly of themselves than they are in reality, think that they are much more important than they are in reality, think that the universe revolves around them), self centered (always think of themselves and never think of others), and are unwilling to reciprocate (take, take, take, and never give)… dooming any potential relationship before it starts.

    For me personally, the question about foreign women is still the same… not one of paying, but rather one of OVERPAYING. The question is do they have a sense of entitlement, have unrealistic expectations, are narcissistic, are self centered, and are unwilling to reciprocate? If they do not have a sense of entitlement (are actually appreciative), have realistic expectations (are appreciative for small gestures), are not narcissistic (are down to earth and humble), are not self centered (show that they think about you through a number of different gestures), and are willing to reciprocate (meet you expectations in a number of different ways), then paying is not an issue. However, if they exhibit the same lack of quality as American women in these areas, I would suggest running fast and far in the opposite direction.


    Comment by FWO — July 26, 2008 @ 7:07 pm

  13. Re: Donald

    “They are just like any other female in the world however they are living in a PATRIARCHAL society in which they want out. The backfire will occur when GL realizes that these women are searching for a more liberal way of life outside of their male dominant culture. He may appear to be a free ticket to freedom in their eyes until they realize that GL’s intentions are to dominate and control these women in the same way that their Russian husbands, fathers and lovers have been doing for centuries.”

    Interesting. I never thought about it like that. I have considered how many Asian women fly overseas to be free from the male dominant stance while in search of the more Liberal American males (compared to the vodka drinking thugs they are with) … and this works. So in a sense it could be that we “Patriarchs” are becoming extinct. One solution is to move to the less developed places of the world or where women are given less freedoms. The problem with this is if we take our new foreign brides/girlfriends back to the USA and expose them to the freedoms etc. we risk losing them too. This happened to a buddy of mine who thought he found heaven with his Asian bride. Once she was stateside she realized all of the options and soon found a new man and disappeared.

    Comment by Stevie — July 27, 2008 @ 2:59 pm

  14. Donald, WELL PUT, GREAT INSIGHT. wow. brilliant.

    Comment by Ralph — August 16, 2008 @ 8:52 am


    Comment by LW — August 21, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

  16. What has our world come to men? i admit i realized i was gay towards the end of my marriage but for god’s sake, i never would put my kids in harms way. please pay for your children’s welfare and love them and help them to be wonderful men. my son and dtr are my life and i would never ditch them or leave them behind. it’s the worst crime ever for a father or mother to ditch their kids and not pay child support. guys, the fight is not against the kids, don’t make then pay for your mistakes.

    Comment by lennylovestexas — September 6, 2008 @ 8:26 am

  17. I’ve got to agree with everyone disagreeing with GL. Women overseas are no better than their western counterparts. Also feminism is intent on taking over the world and they have help from the UN so it may come to the country you escaped to and what are you going to do then?

    Comment by Masculist Man — October 7, 2008 @ 7:00 pm

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