I just saw this on a forum that I frequent. The guy I’m quoting is raising three kids, is awarded a pittance of $100/wk, which the mom obviously doesn’t pay, with obviously no consequences. Predictably, the child support enforcement agency doesn’t care, but there’s a twist…
My long custody battle ended with me having custody of our 3 kids, making sure they were doing well, and she being seen buying rounds of shots in a bar celebrating getting rid of her kids.
At the time when the custody case was settled she agreed to pay $100 a week in child support for our 3 children, one of which is handicapped and has lots of medical issues/expenses. Pretty lenient deal I think. It’s been around 5 years since then.
I had a long, long, talk with the MA Department of Revenue (DOR) today and we agreed that in the past 5 years there has been a total of around $200 paid into this account. The outstanding balance including penalties is over $35,000. After some pressing I found out that the last action that the DOR took was 2 years ago when they suspended her driving license. After she never appeared at court as required no further action was taken. This is very bothersome to me.
As it stands they’re going to pull her in for contempt for never responding to the notifications sent in 06 when here license was revoked and I’m working on finding out what fantastic case worker has let this slide for half a decade.
The real interesting part is that she got remarried not long ago. Apparently the guy is doing pretty well. Poor bastard, I’m certain that he has no idea that the DOR and the IRS are about to drop a load of shit bricks into their life.
I’m also just amazed at how the DOR has totally failed to follow up properly on this for so many years. I’m pissed at the state for letting this slide for so long and pissed at my ex for being a shitty mother. On another note she’s visited them once in the past 3 years. Bravo again.
edit: The biggest “Deadbeat Mom” comment in the title comes from looking at the top 10 most wanted by MA DOR that gets posted up in post offices etc. She isn’t there and a few of those guys owe less than my ex does.
I think the real reason that this bothers me so much isn’t about the 100 bux a week of support, that’s just a token. It’s about the difference that I have observed in how agencies work when mom is the custodial parent vs when dad is the custodial parent. After my ex split and before she abandoned the kids she had custody for about 8 years. During this time the DOR was Johnny on the spot with me. If I changed a job and missed a week of child support payments they knew and sure let me know. If I got laid off and missed a few payments they took it out of my checking account like magic.
I respect single moms A LOT, any single parent for that matter. It’s hard work for anyone to raise kids on their own and if you do it and put your kids first you deserve respect. It’s the disparity between how I’ve seen how state agencies and private organizations operate depending on if it’s a mother or a father that’s asking for help. That’s what’s making me a little nuts right now.
My personal experience may be an anomaly but after 13 years of seeing this consistent pattern I’m just tired of it and very frustrated.
Yes, this man has been through the wringer and is mad that his wife is getting the kid gloves treatment.
That’s just the beginning. Where these threads sometimes consisted solely of blind supporters of women both male and female, the balance seems to be changing as more and more people see the injustice for themselves. Its a lot of cognitive dissonance to deal with, with the disconnect between the reality of women being cheating, conniving deceitful whores, and the fantasy of them as sugar and spice and everything nice which has been pummeled into them throughout their childhood. Predictably though, the very first comment implies that its his own fault for marrying her. “your pic should be up there [on the child support website] for marrying that broad”
Here’s a few more…
Could be worse, dude. She could insist on partial-custody, not pay for doctors or dental, not feed them, beat them, and then marry a guy who makes tons of cash but wails on them harder.
I had two seperate friends like this in middle/high school. Had great dads though, but neither just couldn’t get full time custody.
Holy shit, when did my dad get an SA account?
I’m really sorry OP that you’re going through this. I have experienced first hand the failure of the state to give the same standards to men and women. In September my mom went off the deepend, broke into my father and sister’s house and tried to kill my dad. Long story short she is not guilty on all counts by reason of insanity. My dad was charged with ten counts of child endangerment for allowing my mother the means to harm my sisters or some other ridiculous bullshit. He has been fighting to get full custody of my sisters back for almost a year now. Just last week the court removed the supervised vists. That means that before then he got to visit my sisters for two hours a week in the presence of their caseworker. Now he can see them alone but the visits have to be scheduled. The day that it happened my sisters were asked multiple times if my father ever abused my mother. They couldn’t beleive that a woman could do this without being provoked by an abusive husband.
It makes me sad to know that had the sexes in this situation been reversed they would have never even thought of removing my sisters. I hope your situation works out and people start getting their heads out of their asses.
When I lived with my mom, child support was taken from my dad before he even got his hands on his paycheque.
When I lived with my dad, my mom paid about 200$ in child support over 6 years despite being ordered to pay 50$ a week in addition to half of the cost of schooling.
Right before I turned 18, my dad got a letter from the State of Michigan wondering why he’d not provided for my care and demanding a BACK support payment of tens of thousands of dollars… Dear ol’ mom never let anyone know she didn’t had custody of me anymore.
I ended up living with my mom again when I was in college and needed help paying for my schooling. She gave me a song and dance about being so broke and she just didn’t know how she was going to make ends meet (her household finances being beyond what could get my financial aid is what made me need help). I told her, “Fine. I’m pretty sure I still have a claim on my hands for all the child support you never paid”. She paid for a quarter of my schooling and that was that.
Yes, this is the reality on the ground. People are waking up, and while they’re still groggy from the fitful sleep of the last 40 years, it won’t take them long to start to connect the dots between female supremacism and cultural and institutional hatred of men.